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odditycollector: I mean, I have not actually seen an alien!sex story where the participants wander off in confusion. Although I am not willing to bet they don't exist.greenygal: I'm sure it exists somewhere, because there is an awful lot of fic, but not *commonly*, no.odditycollector: "I have spikes!"
"I have tentacles!"
"Sounds great! But also, my pre-come is a numbing agent. Sorry."
"That's okay. My tentacles produce a paralytic enzyme when I get horny."
"..."
"..."
greenygal: "*cautiously* You don't...possibly...devour your mate, do you?"
odditycollector: "No! Nonononono! Of course not! Well. I mean. It's not *required*."
greenygal: "*backing away in unsubtle manner* I just remembered. I've taken a vow of chastity. For all forms of sex involving tentacles. It's a very specific vow."
odditycollector: *nods sadly* "Not that specific. It turned out my last partner had taken a vow of chastity only for all forms of sex involving tentacles with paralytic enzymes. It was okay though- he had this thing that looked like, I dunno, a giant finger between his legs. Or maybe a mushroom? It was weird."
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Karen: watched some Due South. Every time [Fraser and a given Ray] walk *near* a bank, it gets ( Spoilers are not statistically credible )
Mystery brought to a satisfactory conclusion, conversation then turns to the matter of robot porn.
Mystery brought to a satisfactory conclusion, conversation then turns to the matter of robot porn.
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This morning, I was helping my mom move building supplies from the back of her truck into the house.
My Mom: *spins around, glancing me with a large metal sheet*
My Mom: Oh dear!
My Mom: I'll have to be more careful. If I can bang you, I can bang ANYTHING!
Me: ... *mumbleThatsWhatSHEsaid!mumble*
My Mom: Sorry? Did you say something?
Me: Erm.
Me: No?
My Mom: *spins around, glancing me with a large metal sheet*
My Mom: Oh dear!
My Mom: I'll have to be more careful. If I can bang you, I can bang ANYTHING!
Me: ... *mumbleThatsWhatSHEsaid!mumble*
My Mom: Sorry? Did you say something?
Me: Erm.
Me: No?
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Brother: Oh, hey! Guess what I lost at the family reunion!
Me: ...
Me: I'm not sure you *want* to hear my first response to that.
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I just spent half an hour arguing with my father about how Superman flies.
"Superman doesn't fly."
"Yes, he does."
"No, he just jumps really high, and then uses his muscles to stay in the air."
"That doesn't make any sense!"
"It's like swimming. You can change direction in the water, right?"
"By pushing against the water. Superman couldn't push hard enough against the air without causing storms."
"Parachutists can change direction in the air by moving their muscles."
"They can't go *up*. Or change direction in *space*."
"Space isn't a true vacuum! There are still tiny particles."
"Then we'd *see* him doggy-paddling to Saturn. Which he doesn't."
"You need to open your mind!"
"You need to take a physics class!"
For the record: when under a yellow sun, Superman can manipulate his own personal gravitational field, and THAT'S how he flies.
Anything else is SILLY!
"Superman doesn't fly."
"Yes, he does."
"No, he just jumps really high, and then uses his muscles to stay in the air."
"That doesn't make any sense!"
"It's like swimming. You can change direction in the water, right?"
"By pushing against the water. Superman couldn't push hard enough against the air without causing storms."
"Parachutists can change direction in the air by moving their muscles."
"They can't go *up*. Or change direction in *space*."
"Space isn't a true vacuum! There are still tiny particles."
"Then we'd *see* him doggy-paddling to Saturn. Which he doesn't."
"You need to open your mind!"
"You need to take a physics class!"
For the record: when under a yellow sun, Superman can manipulate his own personal gravitational field, and THAT'S how he flies.
Anything else is SILLY!
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