So in Reign 3, we learn that Mary Jane was killed from exposure to Spider-man's radioactive sperm. Which is absolutely ridiculous. I mean, this is comic books. People don't die from exposure to radioactive sperm in comic books.

They get super powers!
 

stats count
Mary Jane's new power set would actually be pretty impressive:

- The ability to burrow into things that are spherical and much larger than her… like the Earth!

- Amazing swimming powers.

- A great sense of direction.

- The ability to survive days without food. (Handy talent for a model!)

- The ability to go unseen. It might take *weeks* before anyone knows she did something.

- Angsty "Oh no, I'm mutating!" storylines, in which she grows an extremely long tail.

- A theme song! (Well, she's married, so I figure she can share Peter's theme song. Sharing is what marriage is *about*, right?)

 
Sperm-woman, Sperm-woman,
Does what spermatozoa can.
Catches thieves by surprise;
She'll get right in their eyes.
Look Out!
Here comes the Sperm-woman.

Can she swim fast?
Oh, friend of mine,
She's got a radioactive behind.
Can she burrow underground?
Anywhere that's big and round.
Hey, there-
There goes the Sperm-woman.

In the chill of night
At the scene of a crime
Like a streak of white
She comes just in time.

Sperm-woman, Sperm-woman,
Friendly neighborhood Sperm-woman
Wealth and fame
She's ignored
Action is her reward.

To her, life is a great big bang up
Whenever there's a wang up
You'll find the Sperm-woman.


 
I'll leave the BIG question - "But what will she wear?!" - in more capable hands than mine. She's a model, after all, and I'm lucky if I can get my socks to match.

Though her symbol, I'm sure, will be a thing of *beauty*.
brownbetty: Ferret wearing hat: love me! (Love me)

From: [personal profile] brownbetty


RADIOACTIVE SPERM

I feel this bears repeating.

Thank you for exposing me to this beautiful story-line.

From: [identity profile] willnobilis.livejournal.com


I knew you were cool.

I had no idea you were wonderful, intelligent, amazing and witty.

You deserve another ♥. Maybe even three.

♥ ♥ ♥

From: [identity profile] dine.livejournal.com


*hearts you*

you've obviously been partaking of the crackiest sort of crack - do it again! by which I mean, this is brilliant!!!

From: [identity profile] jarodrussell.livejournal.com


I assume, to prevent a massive wave of miraculous, man-less conceptions, she'll skip spandex and either wear: rubber, latex, or sheepskin. And I imagine her suit will have some kind of built in ribbing, you know, for her pleasure protection.

From: [identity profile] morchades.livejournal.com


Well... I hate to admit it, but I had something very like this idea (okay, it was THIS idea but with no spider-powers) for a DC couple. But because I don't write fanfiction the Internet was spared.

From: [identity profile] dryponder.livejournal.com


did you just issue a superhero costuming challenge? *gears turning*

man i just don't even know what to say about the state of mainstream comics. i may have to close down my 'all-positive' mainstream comics blog. there's hardly anything left to talk about.

From: [identity profile] caia-comica.livejournal.com


*laughs* As per usual, you make everything better.

By which I mean, of course, MORE INSANE.

From: [identity profile] lost-angelwings.livejournal.com


Catches thieves by surprise;
She'll get right in their eyes.


XDDDD

You win XD

From: [identity profile] ed-fortune.livejournal.com


Wow.
Brings the phrase doing a spiderman (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=spider+man) full circle.

From: [identity profile] zandperl.livejournal.com


Reminds me of the Larry Niven short story "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex." (http://www.larryniven.org/stories/Man_of_Steel_Woman_of_Kleenex.shtml)
ext_96962: Steel blue rectangle spiral based on the golden ratio, centered around a red "eye" (Default)

From: [identity profile] vaecrius.livejournal.com


Awesomest superhero idea thie year. Possibly decade.

...though I'd imagine her symbol would look a bit like the SOS Brigade logo in black and white...
.

Profile

odditycollector: Supergirl hovering in black silhouette except for the red crest. Cape fluttering. Background is a roiling, raining sky. (Default)
odditycollector

Most Popular Tags

Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags