And then they don't done sex. The End!

[odditycollector]

odditycollector: I mean, I have not actually seen an alien!sex story where the participants wander off in confusion. Although I am not willing to bet they don't exist.
greenygal: I'm sure it exists somewhere, because there is an awful lot of fic, but not *commonly*, no.
odditycollector:
"I have spikes!"
"I have tentacles!"
"Sounds great! But also, my pre-come is a numbing agent. Sorry."
"That's okay. My tentacles produce a paralytic enzyme when I get horny."
"..."
"..."
greenygal:
"*cautiously* You don't...possibly...devour your mate, do you?"
odditycollector:
"No! Nonononono! Of course not! Well. I mean. It's not *required*."
greenygal:
"*backing away in unsubtle manner* I just remembered. I've taken a vow of chastity. For all forms of sex involving tentacles. It's a very specific vow."
odditycollector:
*nods sadly* "Not that specific. It turned out my last partner had taken a vow of chastity only for all forms of sex involving tentacles with paralytic enzymes. It was okay though- he had this thing that looked like, I dunno, a giant finger between his legs. Or maybe a mushroom? It was weird."

Comments

[caia-comica.livejournal.com]

Heee, yeah. Alien sex is complicated.

...there's of course fic in which the Transformers and the humans don't have sex, and also fic in which they do, and some of the fic in which they do acknowledges that it could be, um, rather hazardous for the smaller and squisher partner. (I have not seen fic in which somehow human sex fluids or whatever are actually hazardous to the Transformer, but it is probably out there somewhere.) But I can't say I've seen one where they get to the "I'll show you mine and you'll show me yours!" stage fully intending to do it and then decide to back out.

It's probably out there, but I suspect it's also movieverse. And/or more of a "TAKE THAT!" against the human/Transformer ficwriters than an actual fic.

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

*so much love*

[arekuru.livejournal.com]

I'm reminded of the Star Wars: X-Wing books, in which Corran carefully explains to Gavin that sometimes, interspecies romances really just don't work out. Like when you turn out to be allergic to their fur and your skin is slightly acidic to their tastes. (Or, you know, worse.)

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha!

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

*loves*