And then they don't done sex. The End!

[odditycollector]

odditycollector: I mean, I have not actually seen an alien!sex story where the participants wander off in confusion. Although I am not willing to bet they don't exist.
greenygal: I'm sure it exists somewhere, because there is an awful lot of fic, but not *commonly*, no.
odditycollector:
"I have spikes!"
"I have tentacles!"
"Sounds great! But also, my pre-come is a numbing agent. Sorry."
"That's okay. My tentacles produce a paralytic enzyme when I get horny."
"..."
"..."
greenygal:
"*cautiously* You don't...possibly...devour your mate, do you?"
odditycollector:
"No! Nonononono! Of course not! Well. I mean. It's not *required*."
greenygal:
"*backing away in unsubtle manner* I just remembered. I've taken a vow of chastity. For all forms of sex involving tentacles. It's a very specific vow."
odditycollector:
*nods sadly* "Not that specific. It turned out my last partner had taken a vow of chastity only for all forms of sex involving tentacles with paralytic enzymes. It was okay though- he had this thing that looked like, I dunno, a giant finger between his legs. Or maybe a mushroom? It was weird."

Comments

[caia-comica.livejournal.com]

Heee, yeah. Alien sex is complicated.

...there's of course fic in which the Transformers and the humans don't have sex, and also fic in which they do, and some of the fic in which they do acknowledges that it could be, um, rather hazardous for the smaller and squisher partner. (I have not seen fic in which somehow human sex fluids or whatever are actually hazardous to the Transformer, but it is probably out there somewhere.) But I can't say I've seen one where they get to the "I'll show you mine and you'll show me yours!" stage fully intending to do it and then decide to back out.

It's probably out there, but I suspect it's also movieverse. And/or more of a "TAKE THAT!" against the human/Transformer ficwriters than an actual fic.

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

I am starting to suspect the *real* reason I seem to be impossible to sell on TF fandom is a *lack of imagination*.

[brownbetty]

I'm pretty sure it's excessive imagination, in your case.

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

I dunno. Caia tells me sometimes of fic where, like, a microscope is fucking a space shuttle. Would you have found that in my imagination? I do not imagine you would have.

[katarik.livejournal.com]

It really kind of depresses me that I know exactly which characters you are talking about.

She must have left out the threesome between the microscope, the space shuttle, and the fighter jet.

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

I know exactly which characters you are talking about.
Heh! That is *one* of us.

[katarik.livejournal.com]

Microscope -- Perceptor
Space shuttle -- most likely Skyfire, could theoretically also be Astrotrain; other space-capables include Blast Off, Omega Supreme, Cosmos, and I think Blitzwing.

Also Starscream, but he's the fighter jet.

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

Astrotrain I recognize! From the Thomas and Friends debate! (Caia feels Astrotrain is too evil to make friends; I maintain it is hard to be *too* evil if you are a train in Thomas the Tank Engine's universe, the narrative physics will not allow it.)

[caia-comica.livejournal.com]

Astrotrain isn't too evil for friends! If I said that I was lying. He's friends with Blitzwing! He probably has other 'Con friends, too; I strongly suspect he gets together with Long Haul for a cube of energon (alien alcohol! it is canon!) and complains about having to haul things all the time.

I feel though that he is probably too evil to make friends with the Thomas the Tank Engine crowd. He would probably think they were a bunch of idealistic Autobot wimps.

ETA: He wasn't having sex with Perceptor, though. That was, in fact, Skyfire, who is a space shuttle who is not evil. Except when katarik is writing him.

[caia-comica.livejournal.com]

*laughs* You have a point there, yes. Of all the various Transformer sex systems that fans could invent, the fandom tends to default to a sadly limited number.

But look at it this way! Clearly your assistance is needed!

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

I mean on *my* part! I mean... *how* many of our TF conversations end in me going "What? What! Wait. How. WHAT?"

[caia-comica.livejournal.com]

...oh right, yes. You also have that tendency to want things to make sense.

Which is a little *odd* in a Silver Age Superfamily fangirl, but to each their own, I suppose!

A Thomas the Tank Engine crossover would be awesome, although as I said before, Transformers has a sad shortage of trains.

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

Although I am still sad there is no Thomas and Friends crossover.

[redandfiery.livejournal.com]

Now I want hot Annie-and-Clarabel femslash, dammit!

Wait. No. Pass the brainbleach instead. *slinks away to hide*

[vito-excalibur.livejournal.com]

*so much love*

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

<3's back

[arekuru.livejournal.com]

I'm reminded of the Star Wars: X-Wing books, in which Corran carefully explains to Gavin that sometimes, interspecies romances really just don't work out. Like when you turn out to be allergic to their fur and your skin is slightly acidic to their tastes. (Or, you know, worse.)

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

*nods* That is sad. (Although now I am even wary about how *intra*species romances would go, with the aliens I invented. :S )

[holyschist.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha!

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

:)

[shadowvalkyrie.livejournal.com]

*loves*

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

thanks! *somebody* needs to get some ;)