And then they don't done sex. The End!

[odditycollector]

odditycollector: I mean, I have not actually seen an alien!sex story where the participants wander off in confusion. Although I am not willing to bet they don't exist.
greenygal: I'm sure it exists somewhere, because there is an awful lot of fic, but not *commonly*, no.
odditycollector:
"I have spikes!"
"I have tentacles!"
"Sounds great! But also, my pre-come is a numbing agent. Sorry."
"That's okay. My tentacles produce a paralytic enzyme when I get horny."
"..."
"..."
greenygal:
"*cautiously* You don't...possibly...devour your mate, do you?"
odditycollector:
"No! Nonononono! Of course not! Well. I mean. It's not *required*."
greenygal:
"*backing away in unsubtle manner* I just remembered. I've taken a vow of chastity. For all forms of sex involving tentacles. It's a very specific vow."
odditycollector:
*nods sadly* "Not that specific. It turned out my last partner had taken a vow of chastity only for all forms of sex involving tentacles with paralytic enzymes. It was okay though- he had this thing that looked like, I dunno, a giant finger between his legs. Or maybe a mushroom? It was weird."

Comments

[caia-comica.livejournal.com]

Astrotrain isn't too evil for friends! If I said that I was lying. He's friends with Blitzwing! He probably has other 'Con friends, too; I strongly suspect he gets together with Long Haul for a cube of energon (alien alcohol! it is canon!) and complains about having to haul things all the time.

I feel though that he is probably too evil to make friends with the Thomas the Tank Engine crowd. He would probably think they were a bunch of idealistic Autobot wimps.

ETA: He wasn't having sex with Perceptor, though. That was, in fact, Skyfire, who is a space shuttle who is not evil. Except when katarik is writing him.