(no subject)

Starting today, I'm going to be a better person.

I will be more productive, more reliable, more capable, smarter, prettier, and happier. I will know how to cook without setting off the fire alarm. I will have better fashion sense, and my apartment will be cleaner. I will fold the laundry when it comes out of the drier, so it does not wrinkle. I will be a more talented writer. I will be able to play a musical instrument. I will not get discouraged. I will be less selfish and more patient, and I will collect healthier relationships. I will *make time*. I will get more sleep. I will be more clever and more confident. I will always say what I think. I will be tactful and polite. I will have table manners. I will be taller and stronger. I will have better taste in books. I will have more money. I will look forward to entering the workforce. I will be more mature. I will know what I want to be when grow up. I will be less forgetful and more sincere. I will recall names and faces. I will empathize. I will be able to read faster, type faster, move faster, think faster. I will know when to stop. I will *make an effort*. I will be more understanding and less yielding. I will know how to rollerblade. I will be less afraid of fast moving objects. I will shut the hell up when appropriate. I will always wait for the crosswalk signal, even if I know the intersection really, really well. I will not daydream during tutorials. I will not procrastinate. I will be less foolish and more trusting. I will give good advice. I will get involved. I will make a stand. I will not be late for class. I will have goals, self discipline, ambition and ability. I will be a better friend. I will know who I am and be glad for the acquaintance. I will enjoy more flavours of ice cream. I will apologize only when I mean it, and I will keep every promise I make. I will change the world.