I put my John/Everyone Homestuck limericks up on the AO3. I don't think there are many fans of HS following this journal, but maybe you like limericks?

Because there are So. Many. Limericks.

Content notes: These characters are really too young for how dirty some of the limericks are.
odditycollector: Agatha Heterodyne gleefully threatening a dingbot with a screwdriver. "Relax, you should be incapable of feeling pain!" (Girl Genius)
( Jan. 1st, 2011 12:32 am)
This year I wrote a ReBoot story for my official assignment:

Title: Beyond the Parameters
AndrAIa has learned a trick that would amaze even her coders if they knew. She's learned to be *creative*.

It's been a long time since I played with ReBoot, so it was fun to come back. Even if I ended up with something more introspective than utterly silly, which is the way I usually go for the fandom. (There are still bits which crack me up, because what other fandom will let me throw around phrases like "initialized to zero" with the intent for a payoff in emotions rather than coding practices.)

Then for Yuletide Madness I made 16 haiku for 16 fandoms. You can see them all here.

Some are more associative than others, a couple are meant to be funny, a surprising number of them feature queer women - even the G rated ones. (Yep, I wrote an explicit femslash haiku.) This last point is probably to do with the fact I wrote three times as many ladies as mens, and that is including among them the genderqueer computer program.

I'm also little disappointed with myself, because looking over the characters I wrote poems for, the only CoC are Deeba Resham, of Un Lun Dun, and (I like to think) Carmen Sandiego. I know what happened. I was doing these in a rush - scanning hastily over the prompts for any that caught my eye - and didn't bother either planning ahead or paying attention to previous output. If I do this again I will have to remember that paying attention is important, because there is no way I can blame this level of exhibited bias on the prompts themselves.
odditycollector: Superman flying with Connor Hawke and Foghorn Leghorn who's thinking Hope this boy's arrows aren't as bent as his brain! (Crack Generator)
( Jul. 27th, 2010 10:38 pm)
So [personal profile] brownbetty and [personal profile] petra once wrote this thing where Babs does the DCU.

I thought it was hilarious, but needed some more, you know. Rhyming )
odditycollector: Supergirl hovering in black silhouette except for the red crest. Cape fluttering. Background is a roiling, raining sky. (Default)
( Apr. 8th, 2010 09:39 pm)
[personal profile] petra is doing limericks! And I am always up for silly poetry, so I am stealing.

If you want a limerick, leave me a prompt. If I'm not familiar with the source, I'll ask for a new prompt.
Something pissed me off today. You get a poem about it.

the value of daughters

So you would write a story
for me to care about.
I will tell you how.

Draw a man. Use ink. Use words if you have them. Shape him out of clay.
Give him a name, so I may remember him. Tell me he is strong.
Give him a child. Make it a daughter
so I know he is a good man. A man who would stay for a daughter
who would teach and love a daughter
even without a son to bind him.

And keep the daughter young. Old enough to smile for the man you created
(for you created a good man)
but years from learning of opinions
or that she could have one, if it won't mess your story
the one I care about.
And give the daughter pretty curls
and tell me she has her mother's eyes
like all good girls do.

Now. Sharpen your blade. The one in your mind
where you keep your story.
Watch reflections in its steel until you see
the daughter of the man you created
for me to care about

then swing fast. Draw a knife, a crowbar,
a bullet to send through pretty curls.
A car with broken lines.
Or create wolves to tear her
or hands to squeeze her throat
or send her piece by piece in boxes to her father
blood soaking down your paper.
Rape her if you must.

But do it all
between panel, chapter, line
behind the easel.
Turn off the camera
so I do not hear the screams
so I do not mistake a daughter
for something that might have become a human being.

Does he cry, the man you created? He should, if you did your work carefully.
(if you created a good man)
Catch his tears in resin
or ink or words or clay
and string them up around him, fancy ornaments like something interesting
for me to care about.
When you begin your story, I will see them
and turn the pages.

And do not wonder for the daughters.
They hit the ground no harder than their sisters
trampled into dirt or sold for pieces
or left behind before their mother's milk has dried
or drowned or starved or oil burning down their backs
names listed at no grave site.
Those daughters drawn in blood and bone
not ink not words not in a father's tears
unless that father is a good man.
As an experiment, as I needed a bridge to another experiment, I tried making a piece of reduction poetry. I used [personal profile] brownbetty's story Clad in Other Guise as my base text for... no particular reason, except maybe that I'm testing out her creative commons license. I will see if we are still friends after, I guess, and write up a summary of my observations!

So basically what I did was take my delete key to [personal profile] brownbetty's story, and then stop before I had an entirely blank page. The resulting poem was... far more disturbing than I first intended, so I am putting it behind a cut. You should probably take that as a content warning.

If this is what happens when I tear the flesh from your words, Betty, no wonder people have nightmares of skeletons.

in Guise )
You know what I haven't talked about yet? Holiday fic!

For Yuletide, I got an absolutely wonderful Polly and the Pirates story. It's the story of how Polly's parents met, and I would recommend it even if you haven't read the mini-series, because it is a slightly AU historical romance between a Dandy and a Pirate Queen. If that doesn't pique your interest I don't even want to know you.*


I wrote Five Reasons, a Sarah Connor Chronicles story. It got a pretty good response! I was fairly panicked when I wrote it, but I can't really say I wish I'd started writing it earlier, because earlier I was busy writing another, much more boring yuletide story.

Plus, writing it helped me answer some questions in my mind, like how it is John Connor exists in the first place.

(And it is gen, because apparently the prize for writing an incest prompt for Yuletide is getting a *new* incest prompt the next time you sign up, and you guys, I am so okay with someone else winning this year.)

But I also signed up for [livejournal.com profile] fandom_stocking! And I got presents!

[livejournal.com profile] daegaer wrote me a cracky Good Omens snippet!

[livejournal.com profile] lilacsigil wrote me a hilarious DCU/Sarah Jane Adventures story where Clyde meets Oracle! And totally prevents a lengthy crossover Event in Gotham. I can *tell*.

[livejournal.com profile] enigel wrote Before and Again, a poetic, softly sad bit of Starbuck/Anders.

[livejournal.com profile] trialia made me a Laura Roslin graphic out of the pretty, pretty colours of dreaming.

And then I got two Alan Scott fics! [livejournal.com profile] wabbitseason wrote me Willpower, a brief retrospective on the fabulousness of my favourite Green Lantern over the decades.

And [livejournal.com profile] isilweth wrote Golden Age Alan through the perspective of Doiby Dickles. Made me sad for Doiby, which is just about the first time that's been true.

Is that all? No! That is not all! Because also I made some stuff for [livejournal.com profile] fandom_stocking! I didn't keep very good track of where I put it, though, so there might be some I'm forgetting.

Okay, so I made an mpreg macro comic! From Merlin, a show I am so familiar with I'd worried I'd been accidentally telling a story about random guest stars! Is it glorious or what? (For [livejournal.com profile] auroraprimavera.)

And then! I wrote Sarah Jane Smith/Mr. Smith cybersex for [livejournal.com profile] stunt_muppet. And it is PRETTY PORNY, as things I write go. And for those who haven't been watching the Sarah Jane Adventures, Sarah Jane is a human woman and Mr. Smith is a *giant computer*. And I am so amazing sometimes I amaze MYSELF.

A Kon and Tim snippet. (For [livejournal.com profile] marag, who specifically asked for happy-fic only. Um. I'm sorry.)

Grey's Anatomy porns! Mark Sloan/Lexie Grey, for [livejournal.com profile] evyllynn.

For [livejournal.com profile] madripoor_rose, a Savannah Weaver scene that didn't quite fit into a longer Sarah Connor Chronicles WIP.

A Kirk/Sulu/Uhura haiku. YES. For [livejournal.com profile] jain.

Or how about a Dick Grayson/Kara Zor-El/Koriand'r limerick? For [livejournal.com profile] wiccabuffy.

A Doctor Horrible's Sing Along Blog haiku. For [livejournal.com profile] recrudescence.
Plus some random 30 second macros. Breaking news, everyone: I crack myself up.
Martha Jones (Doctor Who)
Starbuck and Anders (BSG)
Parker (Leverage)
Beverly Crusher/Deanna Troi (Star Trek: TNG) This one was more of a 3 minute Photoshop, 'though if I did my job you can't tell.
A tribble.
Aziraphale and Crowley. (Good Omens)

I dunno either I may have been on CRACK.
odditycollector: Supergirl hovering in black silhouette except for the red crest. Cape fluttering. Background is a roiling, raining sky. (Default)
( Dec. 15th, 2009 02:48 am)
There has been an unusual amount of complaining about pants on my flist today. I will help!

if you asked me to rant a rant
I find that I would rant of pants
of fabric stitched in parallel
where legs, where knees, where asses dwell

I would complain of sizing schemes
afraid I am of ripping seams
when bending down or standing quick
or running fast or throwing kicks

and pockets just embroidery
my coins and lipstick all go free
to tumble down to dirt and dust
lest save my thighs begetting lust

and let me start on dry clean tags
on fabric better used as rags
and too long hems which trip and drag
all bunched in scented shopping bags

though never find of me a liar
I dream of setting pants on fire

So this is another poem I wrote last night. On reflection I think it is okay!


The thing about
is he didn't choose the name

that was Lois,
noticing the symbol he wore
alien hieroglyph
and translating it awkwardly into language
she could understand

and he didn't say
he wore the costume
ridiculous, homemade, bright
because he wanted one part of himself untranslated
untwisted painfully by human expectations

he was too polite
or Lois didn't listen
or there were no words in the only language they shared
or Lois knew she was there first, her people
mapping every space
of her world
nothing left for him to own
It's 2 in the morning, and I find I have written a poem. Poooeeeemmmmmm. Actually I have written more than one, but I am *fairly* sure this one makes sense!

Amanda Waller

There are no pearls
for Amanda Waller
scattered across a dark alley
because you don't waste money on symbolism
if you've got kids to feed

because you've still got kids to feed
and you don't get to bring them on overseas training interludes
baby carriage stowed away in the dark
in the luggage hold
beside you
Mama, are we there yet?
Well, maybe you shoulda gone before we left
to Japan
for Ninja school

there are no vermin in the horror stories you know
in the worst ones
bogeymen forgoing attics and hiding inside acronyms
and pale, smiling faces
and a tv screen's promises
and paperwork
and judging eyes

and the tabloids don't care unless you're
so you've got to write the story yourself
uncover your own resolution
and bring focus to the moral:
The world's a Bitch
but Amanda Waller knows her own.
Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] brown_betty and [livejournal.com profile] vagabond_sal for auxiliary brain support!

A while ago, there was some back and forth blogging on whether or not fangirls were trying to "steal the sexy" from comics. This struck me as such an absurd image I decided it had to be immortalized. Forever. With poetry.


by odditycollector
special thanks to the internets,
special apologies to Doctor Seuss.


Every Fan
Down in Fan-ville
Liked Comics a lot...

But the Bitch,
Who lived just North of Fan-ville,
Did NOT! )

(AHA, found it! MWAAHAHAAA!)

In the ages before, I wrote a story for Stargate: Atlantis, Ill make up a tittle later ok it has to be GOoD!, and it was beautiful.

Such wealth of situation and character combined in fashions I had never before known, and as the words took shape under my fingers, I shed a tear for knowing I would not again reach these heights of inspiration. So many wonders filled the screen in front of me: Tragedy! Raw emotion! Fierce, loyal determination! Buttsex! Truly, I had said all there was in me to say: my muse spent, my soul emptied. I swore then upon my pen an oath to remain silent on the subject forevermore: best to be remembered for my one, fleeting triumph than a thousand dim echoes of the magic I had once wielded.

Yet, alas, I am returned, for to stay away is to battle endlessly against the pull into the deepening veil beyond all things. As the planets are made to dance above us, delicate ballerinas shackled to their fate by the long hands of gravity, I too can never truly be free.

But do not despair for me, friends of my bosom. Though I slip closer, I do not surrender; I am still mighty.


Thanks to [profile] m_butterfly, for being my brain canary on this one. She even survived, so it's probably safe to go in.

Because you demanded, the latest disaster:
Our trip to the planet and what happened after. )


(And now, with any luck, I've got it out of my system.)
Today I was searching chatlogs for an old exercise in bad rhyme, and found instead a different old exercise in bad rhyme. This is what I love about my life hard-drive.

[livejournal.com profile] caia_comica: Combine the skills! Write bad porn in verse!
[livejournal.com profile] odditycollector: It would be limericks, I think!
Karen: That's what they are *for*.
Caia: *nods* CLEARLY.
Karen: Green Lantern is a force for good. )

Want one? Write me a limerick (and a prompt), and I'll write you one back. Limericks: almost make the long list for "most fun you can have in front of the computer screen"!
So in Reign 3, we learn that Mary Jane was killed from exposure to Spider-man's radioactive sperm. Which is absolutely ridiculous. I mean, this is comic books. People don't die from exposure to radioactive sperm in comic books.

They get super powers!

stats count
Mary Jane's new power set would actually be pretty impressive:

- The ability to burrow into things that are spherical and much larger than her… like the Earth!

- Amazing swimming powers.

- A great sense of direction.

- The ability to survive days without food. (Handy talent for a model!)

- The ability to go unseen. It might take *weeks* before anyone knows she did something.

- Angsty "Oh no, I'm mutating!" storylines, in which she grows an extremely long tail.

- A theme song! (Well, she's married, so I figure she can share Peter's theme song. Sharing is what marriage is *about*, right?)

Sperm-woman, Sperm-woman,
Does what spermatozoa can.
Catches thieves by surprise;
She'll get right in their eyes.
Look Out!
Here comes the Sperm-woman.

Can she swim fast?
Oh, friend of mine,
She's got a radioactive behind.
Can she burrow underground?
Anywhere that's big and round.
Hey, there-
There goes the Sperm-woman.

In the chill of night
At the scene of a crime
Like a streak of white
She comes just in time.

Sperm-woman, Sperm-woman,
Friendly neighborhood Sperm-woman
Wealth and fame
She's ignored
Action is her reward.

To her, life is a great big bang up
Whenever there's a wang up
You'll find the Sperm-woman.

I'll leave the BIG question - "But what will she wear?!" - in more capable hands than mine. She's a model, after all, and I'm lucky if I can get my socks to match.

Though her symbol, I'm sure, will be a thing of *beauty*.
odditycollector: Supergirl hovering in black silhouette except for the red crest. Cape fluttering. Background is a roiling, raining sky. (Vetinari)
( Jul. 6th, 2006 09:14 pm)
karen: Do you think Rodney counts as a mad scientist?
betty: More irate than mad, I'd say.

I was listening to Seven Old Ladies this afternoon, and kept mishearing the chorus. One thing lead to another, and suddenly I had this masterpiece on my hands.

I'm not sure how much fun the following will be if you haven't heard the original song, however. (Or, if you'd rather not, here's one of the many versions of lyrics.)

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] brown_betty amd [livejournal.com profile] petronelle for helping me figure out eligible characters and other enabling behaviour. ;)

Seven Mad Scientists: the surprisingly G-rated version. )
odditycollector: Connor Hawke has met the singing frog from Looney Tunes; it will not perform for Wally. This is published comics, guys. (DCU)
( Apr. 8th, 2006 10:09 pm)
Aka, why Karen has, Really, a Hard Time Taking the DCU Seriously.

Part of the blame for this should go to [livejournal.com profile] caia_comica, who was all, "Post it!" and "No really! Post it!" and "You know what? You should post it!" and "Post!" and also helped me find someone for 'F.' Another part goes to Edward Gorey, who wrote the The Gashlycrumb Tinies first.


A is for Al who died of old age,
B is for Barry who ran off the page.

C is for Clark who met his doomsday,
D for Diana turned back into clay.

E is for Eobard who died in his past,
F is for Ferrin whose suit didn’t last.

G is for Guardians, all perished but one,
H is for Hal who flew into the sun.

I is for Indigo programmed subpar,
J is for Jason felled by a crowbar.

K is for Kiliwog killed by a student,
L is for Linda whose death was thought prudent.

M is for Max, neck snapped for his trouble,
N is for Nura now crushed under rubble.

O is for Ollie who died in a plane,
P is for Pamela; we’ll see her again.

Q is for Quarzz who gave all he was able,
R is for Roy, heart stopped on the table.

S is for Sue with villains on the brain,
T is for Ted with a hole in the same.

U is for Unity who claimed her birthright,
V is for Vesper shot dead in the night.

W is for Wesley who fell a long way,
X is for Xax hit with a yellow ray.

Y is for Yoska in explosion buried,
Z is for Zod with deaths many and varied!

Jew - to combat the Googlebomb.
It's useful to realize, when writing love poetry, that if one wishes to write a line such as: Our love is like the morning sun, shining golden over the world, the matching word which comes most easily to mind is hurled.

It really is. Oh, there's other options, like dada dada, and then our love unfurled or I approve of the manner in which your hair is curled, but they've been done. Also, you have to go through the alphabet to find them. (Let's see... What would win her heart. Burled... Durled... You make me feel like I've been Earled? Does that work?)

We hear occasionally about a young woman (usually a woman, the way I hear it (badfic aside), anyway) who falls in love with a poet who writes her a verse on the fly. How come we never hear about the other poet; the one who stands under the balcony and cries:

To me, you're the most beautiful thing in the world.
I looked upon your face, and, um... and then I hurled...
But I mean that in the best way possible!
Possible... possible... oh, screw it.
I'm probably better at free! verse


Um, yes. I'm sure this little spiel was totally and completely unrelated to the fact that [livejournal.com profile] daegaer is doing Yet Another crush meme. Supposedly for Clangers fen, but trust me, as soon as you realize what Clangers was, you'll be so amused at the idea of such a thing actually getting made you'll be a fan by default.


Just because it left me scratching my head, here's a bit of a phone conversation I had with me mom.
Me Mom: So... what new and exciting thing did you learn today.
Me Self: Um, well. I now know how to do conditionals in a spreadsheet.
Me Mom: Really! That's absolutely amazing! I know a lot of people who wish they could do that!
Me Self: ... (And after 19 years, I should hope I can tell when she's not being sarcastic.)
Me Self: Like, that in particular?
Me Mom: Yes.
Me Self: Like, you have people coming up to you and sighing, 'Oh, if only I knew how to write conditionals into Microsoft Spreadsheet'?
Me Mom: Yes. [Mutual Acquaintance] says that all the time. And just this morning, [Less-Mutual Acquaintance] said that he wished he could make spreadsheets with conditionals.
Me Self: oh. Well. That's okay, then.

So apparently, I have a new life skill. Who'da thought?


What else, what else. OMGWTFExamsExamsAhhPanicWTFingF!!!!one.

And now that I've got that out of my system, let me explain just how this affects you, gentle readers. With any luck, I'll be gone from LJ until, say, the 28th. No, like, more gone than usual. I'll probably still glance through my list, as I don't have that much self control, but starting tomorrow I'm going to study, dammit. No, really.

I know. I'll miss you too. *sniff* Hugs all around. *glares* Come on, guys; I said, All around.


Well, fine. But I'm going to look mighty funny sitting here hugging myself.



odditycollector: Supergirl hovering in black silhouette except for the red crest. Cape fluttering. Background is a roiling, raining sky. (Default)


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