odditycollector

I am sorry to do this to you, because the dialogue is... well, if you've ever watched Smallville, you know what the dialogue is. But MAN this is some hardcore flirting between Lois Lane and Kara.

I suppose it's necessary that the scene ends there, because at the rate they are closing in on each other, they've got ten seconds before they're making out just thanks to lip proximity.

So apparently Amanda Waller made an appearance in the Smallville/JSA ep? Damn it, now I may have to give it another shot.

I've been watching Smallville on and off the last couple weeks. And by "on and off" I mean in bits of five minutes.

*on!* WTF??!
*off!* ...but maybe it will recover?
*on!* o.O

See, the thing I was having trouble wrapping my brain around was the sheer magnitude of the dumbness that belongs to Clark Kent. OMG, he is SO DUMB, I HAD FORGOTTEN.

Here is a scene you may recognize if you've seen three minutes of Smallville ever:

There's somebody in the scene with Clark, probably Chloe or Lois or Lex or Kara. Or maybe Jimmy Olsen. Or a random guest star, I don't think it matters is my point.
*Something Not Very Subtle happens*
Somebody: OMG! Do you KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS??
Clark: Um?
Somebody: *explains, trailing off to dot dot dot at the ominous part*
Clark: *stares in blank confusion*
Somebody: .... *fills in the dot dot dot, using little words*
Clark: *stares in blank confusion*

The first couple times it played out I was staring at the screen in horror. What was I supposed to get from this exchange, that Clark had been hit on the head too many times by the bad guy of the week? That the show had an extra five minutes to fill up? That they are paying subtle homage to certain brilliant children's cartoons?

"Blueprints for Lex Luthor's Earth-destroying robots! Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Clark?"
"I think so, Chloe! But... I always *can* tell that they've secretly replaced the fine coffee I usually drink with Folgers Crystals!"

But then I realized that the problem was just that I was working from the wrong mental model. I'd tuned in expecting some sort of superhero drama, when really I was watching a comedy. It's a parody about these characters who've been sucked into the orbit of Our Hero Who Has An Important Destiny Trust Us... only Our Hero has the brains of a guinea pig and the characters spend most of their time making sure he doesn't walk around with his underwear on the outside of his pants or something.

Clark is like Buffy, but a really really stupid Buffy who can't tell which is the pointy end of the stick and is afraid of the dark and sometimes attacks the elementary school's softball umpire because it is hard to understand Giles through the funny accent. He *tries*, okay? And it's not like there's another Chosen One stepping up, you know? Not one with their own show, anyway.

This week, and I'm sorry if this is a spoiler, but this week Clark has Chloe taken away for a few minutes and he has to think about Something Not Very Subtle that happens *all by himself*. He tries *so hard*, you guys. It's hilarious. He can't quite manage to do it in his head, so he ends up talking aloud like a five year old who isn't weened from counting on his fingers. People are nervous about the huge, confused-looking guy who is muttering nonsense to himself, but they just do not appreciate what a huge step he is taking here!

That's okay, Clark, I do. Congratulations. Or, no, I'm sorry, that's a big one. *Yay*, Clark.

Yay for *you*.
 

Vacation! Woo hoo! Yay!!!!one!

*Grins madly at the world at large*

Well, okay, it's not so much a vacation as a temporary reprieve from midterms, but this week I have about 25% more time to study waste. It's reading break, which means maybe I'll even finally catch up on all the fic I've been grabbing off my flist!

Or, you know, do math or something. Whichever.

 
I had great, great fun watching last Wednesday's Smallville (Recruit). But don't worry, I won't spoil anything important.

Objectively, it was probably a pretty meh episode, but they far and above made up for this by filming it at my university. I probably said something already, but it was the weirdest thing - I walked out of math class and all the signs were replaced, and the posters said "Bulldogs" instead of "Thunderbirds," and there were The Daily Planet dispensing machines hanging out with The Province and The Globe and Mail dispensers where I usually grab lunch. Students would take pictures of the newspapers, and then take pictures of the vending machine with a MetU sticker. It was like a gathering of the least competent tourists ever.

It felt like I had somehow wandered into a bad self insertion fic.

They were filming a scene between Chloe and Lois, and every so often they would cut the scene and one of them would adjust their pants. I honestly *don't* know, but it was a little funny. (Filming is done at UBC all the time, but usually the movie people don't leave the props hanging around.)

So *watching* the ep was an experience, but mostly because there'd be an establishing shot of the Library, and then we'd cut to a party inside (they must have missed the giant No Beverages or Food or Noise! This means YOU! display by the door). Or Chloe would announce she was going to the dorms, walk into the Math Annex, and then come out a couple minutes later looking confused (Perhaps someone might have offered a map).

They cut and pasted in a skyline at the beginning (me: WTF. It's familiar, and yet not!) but otherwise, that's where I spend my days.

Pretty, isn't it?

(Also, naming a character Geoff and then [spoiler]? Is that meant to be a homage or a comment?)
 

Some links I gakked from someone:

I Ate iPod Shuffle. Best. Poem. Ever. Also, proof that whoever writes the warning labels has very little faith in humanity.

Muppets Over Time. I have very few words for how great this clip is, and most of them end in 'eeeee!!' But that would probably ruin the mood. Check it out.

So, I've heard there's some silver-age fans in charge of Smallville. Yeah. After the body-switch episode I just saw (now with extra Oedipal issues! For flavouring!), I have nooooo problem believing that.

I was going to do homework now, but my brain is in a state of, 'Can't think. Too much crack.' (You know this, because one of the characters points it out at the end of the episode.) I'm loving the new direction the show seems to be taking, which is straight towards OMGWTFmyBrainHurts - only not *that* straight.

I don't think Smallville's ever going to suck me in as a fandom, but it's like forty minutes of scans_daily every week. (Except, it never occurred to Jimmy Olsen to try picking up a tractor when *he* was Clark. I guess that would have been too easy.)