(
odditycollector Jun. 19th, 2007 01:41 am)
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This solicit Monday, DC was nice enough to remix that infamous Heroes for Hentai cover for us! With... their usual display of restraint, as it happens, so we’ve got a few covers vying for the coveted award of Best Tentacle Threat!
Our contenders:
Batman Strikes #37

Why it is better than H4H: He’s strung up well enough, but his hands are in fists, he’s frowning in concentration, and he’s obviously trying to get free.
Why not to vote for it: Creepy as Ivy can be, the vines *themselves* don’t seem to be posing much of a threat to our intrepid hero, so I’m not sure it really counts as part of the genre.
Detective #836

Why it is better than H4H: Sure, he’s frightened and apparently helpless, but he’s not physically chained and there’s no threat of imminent rape.
Why it doesn’t count: I know we’re all fresh from seeing Pirates of the Caribbean 3, including, probably, Batman, but those are just *fingers* being waved menacingly in his face. Fingers have got to be lots longer than that before they can be considered properly tentacles.
Flash #323

Why it is better than H4H: He’s fighting back, his clothing is intact as far as we can see, and there are no creepy voyeurs watching from above. It isn’t nearly so sexually charged as the original.
Why it isn’t so great: WHY is there a giant vagina dentata with tentacles WHY WHY WHY
OTOH, maybe it is a cultural misunderstanding? The Flash is grimacing, baring his teeth at it. Possibly it took this ENTIRELY THE WRONG WAY?
Wonder Girl #1

Why it is better than H4H: Well, uh, do you have 5 pages? She’s in a strong, fighting stance, and the snake-tentacle things look dangerous instead of sleezy. She‘s focused, not frightened, and TOTALLY PASSES the “can be exchanged for a male character without breaking the internet” test WITH PROOF.


What’s not to like: Um... the rule that when a female character gets her own title, her boobs magically grow three cup sizes while her shirt does not? But I’m reaching a little.
[Poll #1005837]
*The Chinese Buffet
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Sorry, you don't meet all that many in england. *cries* ...
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It's by the guy who write the new Blue Beetle, I believe, so I am totally optimistic. Maybe Cassie will be interesting again!
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The top contenders featured the extremes of "best depiction of a hero dealing with them as they should be dealt" (Wonder Girl) and "best depiction of a hero being about as WTF and as 'heroic' about it as the HFH 'heroes' and therefore somewhat leveling the playing field" (Flash). It really is probably the closest we'd get to an appropriately inappropriate gender-flipped version of the HFH cover, at least outside of fanart or a big house contest for who can get the most rapey.
I voted for the latter category because I am malicious, though I will say that of all the tentacle-like creature threat covers, I like the Wonder Girl one the most.
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I think he does come across a lot more heroic than they did, even cultural gender context thingies aside. (
I'm not entirely sure voters were working with the same definition for "best" O_O
Well neither were the entrants, so I figure that's okay! If it had been the "tentacle cover I'm most likely to buy" contest, the results would have been different, I'd guess. (Although I can't say for *certain*: Fandom is a strange beast all on its own.)
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Cassie's low-low-rider jeans bother me more than her cup size, but not very much, because, hey, Wonder Girl a-punching stuff. Something is right in the world. (Although cleavage and bare midriff seem a bit much. Usually heroines get to pick one.)
Wonder if I could make that Wonder Girl outfit for Halloween? The metal stuff would be the only real problem, but I could figure out something for the tank top and then maybe aluminum foil for the gauntlets? Glow-in-the-dark paint on the lasso would be neat.
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Maybe Pamela is like one of those 3d sidewalk paintings (http://users.skynet.be/J.Beever/pave.htm), that only look right from a very particular standing point? Sure, she looks OK to us, but brom Batman's POV, she is probably a mess of missized limbs and misshapen features.
You could totally - Cassie has tended to stick with Halloween friendly costumes! (Er. *relooks* Unless it is cold on Halloween, I suppose.) The glow in the dark lasso thing sounds pretty cool. :)
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Wonder Girls don't feel the cold! Alternatively, if it actually gets chilly, I can put on a trench coat and become Cassie, undercover as the Question and not doing a very good job of it. (Or Renee Montoya, not wearing the face mask and dressed up like Wonder Girl. One of those.)
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Good luck keeping that straight after the Halloween party!
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Frickin' DC.
-m@
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The giant boobs are annoying, but I'm not too bothered by them in the cover - The first thing you notice on looking is not hay boobies, it is AWESOME!