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Okay, I am sort of canon-ed out. If you are a comics reader, you probably know why.
SO!
If you had absolute control over the comics/whatever media company of your choice, what demands would you impose? Be as silly and specific and self-serving as you really would be, don't lie, you know you would. (I fully expect that you'll hammer out the socially irresponsible messages first thing but, you know, Day 2.)
My things! (And yes, you can assume I've taken over DC Comics, here.)
1. Zombies Attack Colu, the limited issue miniseries.
I do not even have words for how absolutely *tragic* it is that zombies were allowed to play themselves out without even a measly 80 page giant where a planet full of self-important green super-geniuses run screaming from a staggering horde of undead hungry for BRAAAAIIIIINNNNNNSSSSS!!!!! You guys it would have been beautiful.
2. Suicide Squad and LEGION With Dots get brought back for guaranteed runs, under the understanding that their *real* purpose is to record the cranky and largely off-panelromance love affair relationship between Amanda Waller and Vril Dox II. Fandom can post on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
scans_daily about how it is just now noticing they are obviously MTB; meanwhile I get to sit in my giant leather office chair and go EEEEEE! a lot.
3. Krypton society retroactively shifts to a naming system that is maybe slightly more complicated, but at least is not based on out-of-date sexism. (I know this breaks the silliness rule, but it is something editorially tiny I'd seriously like to see changed. Or have it be acknowledged that Krypton was not the egalitarian society that exists in Superman's head, which can be interesting also but changes with whoever is writing the backstory this issue anyway.)
4. Amanda Connor is tasked with drawing a Power Girl series.
OH WAIT.
I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE ANOTHER #4 THOUGH I'VE HAD THIS LIST A WHILE.
5. Swimsuit Crisis, for which half the blame goes to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
caia_comica.
In which NOTHING is CHANGED FOREVER! And everyone remains the SAME AMOUNT of ALIVE OR DEAD! Drama ensues when Hal Jordan has TOO MANY MARGARITAS and forgets he's meant to be willing into existence a BATHING SUIT! Possibly the earth is getting destroyed in one of the tie-ins, but never mind because Aquaman is giving out DOLPHIN RIDES!
I could go on, but I shall not! What would YOU do?
SO!
If you had absolute control over the comics/whatever media company of your choice, what demands would you impose? Be as silly and specific and self-serving as you really would be, don't lie, you know you would. (I fully expect that you'll hammer out the socially irresponsible messages first thing but, you know, Day 2.)
My things! (And yes, you can assume I've taken over DC Comics, here.)
1. Zombies Attack Colu, the limited issue miniseries.
I do not even have words for how absolutely *tragic* it is that zombies were allowed to play themselves out without even a measly 80 page giant where a planet full of self-important green super-geniuses run screaming from a staggering horde of undead hungry for BRAAAAIIIIINNNNNNSSSSS!!!!! You guys it would have been beautiful.
2. Suicide Squad and LEGION With Dots get brought back for guaranteed runs, under the understanding that their *real* purpose is to record the cranky and largely off-panel
scans_daily about how it is just now noticing they are obviously MTB; meanwhile I get to sit in my giant leather office chair and go EEEEEE! a lot.3. Krypton society retroactively shifts to a naming system that is maybe slightly more complicated, but at least is not based on out-of-date sexism. (I know this breaks the silliness rule, but it is something editorially tiny I'd seriously like to see changed. Or have it be acknowledged that Krypton was not the egalitarian society that exists in Superman's head, which can be interesting also but changes with whoever is writing the backstory this issue anyway.)
4. Amanda Connor is tasked with drawing a Power Girl series.
OH WAIT.
I DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE ANOTHER #4 THOUGH I'VE HAD THIS LIST A WHILE.
5. Swimsuit Crisis, for which half the blame goes to
caia_comica.In which NOTHING is CHANGED FOREVER! And everyone remains the SAME AMOUNT of ALIVE OR DEAD! Drama ensues when Hal Jordan has TOO MANY MARGARITAS and forgets he's meant to be willing into existence a BATHING SUIT! Possibly the earth is getting destroyed in one of the tie-ins, but never mind because Aquaman is giving out DOLPHIN RIDES!
I could go on, but I shall not! What would YOU do?
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(2) Warren Ellis must stop writing this shit that actually pays money for big publishers and give us more episodes of Fell.
(3) Archangel Studios must get their act together and give us a couple of years of The Red Star without choking every two months or I will send my goddamn battle bots to destroy their studio.
(4) Frank Cho and Michael Turner have to draw Mafalda and Hagar the Horrible for the next three years as part of their sentence for crimes against my brain cells.
(5) I'm imposing a moratorium on crossovers for the next 12-months; the words "Crisis", "Apocalypse", "Civil War", "Infinite", and "Armageddon" are hereby retired.
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Retired also from the dictionary! (Students of mathematics can continue to get around the rule by sketching the side-view of a mobius strip to indicate things they are too lazy to count.)
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2. Re-launch "Birds of Prey" without Oracle, but with Zinda and Huntress as a two-woman A-Team, traveling the world and helping people, for a nominal fee and gas money. Maybe have Arnold Burnsteel or "Sue Denim" as their technical support.
3. Hire Ed Benes to draw a Black Canary monthly series, and make sure editorial doesn't screw it up by accidentally assigning a writer to the project.
4. Kill Hourman and have Liberty Belle marry Castellan instead; hire Adam Warren to write the series as a "sexy super-hero comedy."
5. Fix Oracle's spine by having Angela Spica recruit her as that universe's representative of the multiversal hero organization known as "The Corps of Engineers" -- as written by Adam Warren, Joe Casey, Abnett/Lanning, or Elliot Brown.
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supervillainsex-supervillainsRogues with a complicated non-homophobic relationship and tons of weird, shiny toys. There would be fun snarky banter and ethical arguments and wacky hijinks and possibly post-brainwashing trauma, because moderate levels of angst are music to my ears. Also there would be handcuffs, because I said so! (Hot Rogue sex would be optional but certainly not discouraged...)Also I would definitely go for the zombies vs. Colu series--any excuse to get a Coluan hiding under a table is a good excuse!
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Amanda: *stomps around, yelling for Vril's head.*
Vril II: *drives under desk*
Phase: Did you just... are you *hiding* under the *desk*?
Vril II: From *that woman*? Of course not. There's an essential piece of machinery here that none of the regular idiot parade is camable of repairing. Do you want to be forcibly ejected into the outer solar-sphere next time we reach hyperspace?
Phase: So I'll just go tell Waller that you're in here, shall I?
Vril II: Before you do, you should consider my last question.
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1. Kon comes back to life and moves with Kara to Smallville, where they bicker adorably and save Kansas from rampaging slime monsters and the like. Also Linda returns from limbo and becomes a mentor to Kara, which also helps Linda get her head back together. Then Linda and Jimmy fall in love! Also there: Peej, Krypto.
2. Blue and Gold, the series. Ted! Booster! Jaime! Shenanigans!
3. Crisis on Infinite Barts, where Bart's clones start multiplying in the Speed Force and suddenly every book has a Bart running around being adorable. Somehow the consolidation of these Barts into one also brings Max Mercury back. WHAT IT COULD HAPPEN.
4. Teen Girl Squad!, starring Kara, Steph, Mia, Cassie, Cissie, Anita, Courtney, Misfit, Black Alice, and any other teenage girl hero who happens to come along. I don't care what they do, as long as it involves punching and feeling ways about stuff!
5. Ponies! Ponies for everyone!
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From: (Anonymous)
Having stopped reading them 11 years ago... but
Wolverine never really remembers how he got his powers (so no additional bitterness for the Weapon-X process) and picks up with Jubilee where they left off, becoming a slightly odd father and daughter team (with a cool father who respects his daughter's powers) which makes her feel much more comfortable around the X-Men, so she enjoys picking up being a trickster around them again. Wolverine also makes peace with his jones for Jean Grey who has married Cyclops and the two become the calm center at the X-Men, sort of the den mother and father - much more so than Charles Xavier, who gracefully blends out of the school and leaves it to the next generation, searching for peace of mind with his alien lady-love.
Rogue learns to get her powers under control and gets togeher with Remy. Nightcrawler finds a niche as resident X-Men ninja and training master of the young ones, maybe finds someone permanent, too.
They still occasionally fight the good fight, but the center of their lives is coping with being different and building families for the ones that aren't accepted elsewhere, and they gift that to the pupils of their school.
In short, much less permanent destruction and crisis one on top of the other and much more the personal approach (slightly soap opera-like, just with less stupid reasons and twists).
I would still buy the series and all its spin-offs if I could get that. ;-)
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Did the comment get eaten or can only you see it now?
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I do not read Marvel so much, alas, but I *hear* things...
(Although X-Factor was *really* good for a while, until it got eaten by a crossover and I never came back. It may even still be.)
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Here we go now:
Or maybe not.
Marvel:
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Re: Here we go now:
And marvel 3... Most of what I know about H4H I learned from the tentacle porn cover so, uh, my first idea of a movie is probably a bit off-base. Hopefully, anyhow!
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X-men: Have Wanda rewire the world again so rather than having no mutants, Wolverine has never existed. Magneto is still running Genosha (which hasn't been wiped either, in fact, she also erased Morrison). With Charles secretly spending 'long weekends' over there, which the reader knows perfectly well aren't, since the artists very kindly provide us with big NC-17 rated double page spreads.
*hugs Erik and Charles very tightly*
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(PS. Have you seen the trailer for the new Wolverine cartoon? On the one hand, I know, *Wolverine* cartoon, but the Charles/Erik undertones was almost worth the 30 seconds.)
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It's wish fulfillment really, but about halfway through my daydreaming,I had an odd feeling that barring the porn (or not) I had come up with something better than Marvel. Possibly because I can erase Morrison's existance more easily from my psyche than they can from the world.
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Hah! Definitely "or not".
I've not had the... pleasure of reading many X-titles. (Well, relatively? If I listed them, anyone who was not a comics fan would laugh at me, I am sure!) I've *heard* what Morrison did, though, and am very glad they retconned it the next day or whatever.
Also, I understand 100% the desire to avoid Wolverine when possible, so I'll summarize the trailer - something undefined takes out Xavier, and the x-men eventually find him in an Emperor sized bed in Genosha, which is under Erik's rule. "OMG!" say the X-men. "What did you do to him?!" "I took care of him," Erik tells them, and then explains that Charles is v. important to him in emotion laden tones and words I don't actually remember. And then there is extraneous Wolverine.
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before I knew much about comicsverse and pretty much picked it up as I went along. It was rather depressing to discover that I had done more research on the setting than the writers had.
Morrison...I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say he raped Magneto's character. It was horrible, and whever I mention him my Magneto!muse goes into a frothing frenzy and starts eating the carpet. It's almost pavlovian really, and I really don't blame him. It was horrible.
... damn you. I am going to have to see this.