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As you might be able to guess from the title, this was originally supposed to be part of a five things collection, but three of the five never made it past the That’ll never work phase, and the last is slowly becoming a very depressing novellette. However, I was sad to see this bit vanish (even if it's possible that it only makes sense in my head).
One Secret Origin Power Girl Never Had
Superman grabs Batman by the shoulders and flies him up into the air, and then he lets go. Batman tumbles towards the ground for a few seconds before righting himself and flying after the man of steel. He kicks Superman in the head.
“Hey! That’s cheating!” says Superman. “Batman can’t fly.”
“’Course he can,” says Batman. “He’s Batman.” Pepper sticks her tongue out at Wensleydale.
Wensley scowls back at her. “He can not,” says Superman.
“Can too!”
Wensleydale shakes his head and sighs as one long suffering. “They’re your comics, Adam,” Superman says to Green Lantern, who’s busy fighting a handful of blue triceratops and a mean looking tyrannosaurus rex. “Tell her Batman can’t fly.”
“Raaar! Zit-zit-zit! Raauuur!” says Green Lantern. “I dunno. Maybe he’s in the bat-plane or something. Raaarr!”
“Hah!” says Batman. Batman punches Superman in the ear, but Superman doesn’t move.
“I’m not afraid of you,” says Superman. “You can’t hurt me, unless you have kryptonite.”
A large chunk of mineral deposits itself in Batman’s arms. “I’ve got kryptonite right here,” says Batman.
“That’s a penny,” says Superman, unimpressed. “It’s not even green.”
“It’s not supposed to be,” says Batman, “it’s brown kryptonite.”
“That’s dumb,” says Superman. “And you’re still not supposed to be flying. Batman doesn’t have an *invisible* bat-plane.”
“Well, he stole Wonder Woman’s then. It’s not like she’s using it.”
Pepper and Wensleydale both turn and look reprovingly at Wonder Woman. She’s in the middle of making out with Wolverine.
Brian looks back at them after a moment. “What?”
Wensleydale snorts. “Wonder Woman wouldn’t kiss Wolverine. They’re not even dating.”
“Yeah,” agrees Batman. “And boys are smelly, anyhow.”
“Are not!” says Superman, but Brian considers the point.
“We haven’t got any other girls,” Wonder Woman says, and then, “Yo, Adam! You have a Supergirl somewhere?”
Green Lantern stops swinging the T-rex by its tail. “Don’t think so,” he says. “I’ll check.” Adam puts the action figure down and crawls over to the chesterfield.
Adam paws around under it and drags out a GI Joe, a transformer with a missing head, and an action figure of a woman in white spandex and a red cape. He shakes most of the dust off them, and stands them up on the carpet. The superheroine immediately topples forward. Adam squints under the couch again, and then shrugs. “That’s all I got,” he says.
Brian dumps Wonder Woman and Wolverine in a heap. He examines the new toys critically, and finally picks up the superheroine. “Who’s this one?” he says, and gets a collective shrug as an answer. Brian flies her over to the battle between Superman and Batman.
“Hello, Superman. I’m your cousin!”
“You are *not*,” says Superman. Batman headbutts him in the stomach.
A few inches away, Green Lantern finally manages to herd the stampeding dinosaurs back into their box. “I wonder what brown kryptonite would do to Superman, anyway,” he says thoughtfully.
For those curious, here’s a link to some Power Girl sort-of-exposition from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
scans_daily
And three more pages, to further confuse the issue.
One Secret Origin Power Girl Never Had
Superman grabs Batman by the shoulders and flies him up into the air, and then he lets go. Batman tumbles towards the ground for a few seconds before righting himself and flying after the man of steel. He kicks Superman in the head.
“Hey! That’s cheating!” says Superman. “Batman can’t fly.”
“’Course he can,” says Batman. “He’s Batman.” Pepper sticks her tongue out at Wensleydale.
Wensley scowls back at her. “He can not,” says Superman.
“Can too!”
Wensleydale shakes his head and sighs as one long suffering. “They’re your comics, Adam,” Superman says to Green Lantern, who’s busy fighting a handful of blue triceratops and a mean looking tyrannosaurus rex. “Tell her Batman can’t fly.”
“Raaar! Zit-zit-zit! Raauuur!” says Green Lantern. “I dunno. Maybe he’s in the bat-plane or something. Raaarr!”
“Hah!” says Batman. Batman punches Superman in the ear, but Superman doesn’t move.
“I’m not afraid of you,” says Superman. “You can’t hurt me, unless you have kryptonite.”
A large chunk of mineral deposits itself in Batman’s arms. “I’ve got kryptonite right here,” says Batman.
“That’s a penny,” says Superman, unimpressed. “It’s not even green.”
“It’s not supposed to be,” says Batman, “it’s brown kryptonite.”
“That’s dumb,” says Superman. “And you’re still not supposed to be flying. Batman doesn’t have an *invisible* bat-plane.”
“Well, he stole Wonder Woman’s then. It’s not like she’s using it.”
Pepper and Wensleydale both turn and look reprovingly at Wonder Woman. She’s in the middle of making out with Wolverine.
Brian looks back at them after a moment. “What?”
Wensleydale snorts. “Wonder Woman wouldn’t kiss Wolverine. They’re not even dating.”
“Yeah,” agrees Batman. “And boys are smelly, anyhow.”
“Are not!” says Superman, but Brian considers the point.
“We haven’t got any other girls,” Wonder Woman says, and then, “Yo, Adam! You have a Supergirl somewhere?”
Green Lantern stops swinging the T-rex by its tail. “Don’t think so,” he says. “I’ll check.” Adam puts the action figure down and crawls over to the chesterfield.
Adam paws around under it and drags out a GI Joe, a transformer with a missing head, and an action figure of a woman in white spandex and a red cape. He shakes most of the dust off them, and stands them up on the carpet. The superheroine immediately topples forward. Adam squints under the couch again, and then shrugs. “That’s all I got,” he says.
Brian dumps Wonder Woman and Wolverine in a heap. He examines the new toys critically, and finally picks up the superheroine. “Who’s this one?” he says, and gets a collective shrug as an answer. Brian flies her over to the battle between Superman and Batman.
“Hello, Superman. I’m your cousin!”
“You are *not*,” says Superman. Batman headbutts him in the stomach.
A few inches away, Green Lantern finally manages to herd the stampeding dinosaurs back into their box. “I wonder what brown kryptonite would do to Superman, anyway,” he says thoughtfully.
For those curious, here’s a link to some Power Girl sort-of-exposition from
scans_dailyAnd three more pages, to further confuse the issue.
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And it gets down the crazy sort of kid imagination so well!
It's totally logical, really! They just aren't operating on the *same* logic, is all.
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That is officially Kyle's war cry, from here on out.
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Well, I suppose if he wanted to chase those attacking *away*...
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I feel so much better now. Thank you!
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Honestly, I think the entirety of DCU canon makes far more sense once you allow for the existence of Adam. There could probably be a chart of likely events, even. "Is grounded for setting the kitchen on fire which was *not his fault*." "Oooh. Boobies!" "A movie comes out of which he is fond enough to see 71 times." "Breaks up with his girlfriend (that @!%^* &!^$#)."
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