As you might be able to guess from the title, this was originally supposed to be part of a five things collection, but three of the five never made it past the That’ll never work phase, and the last is slowly becoming a very depressing novellette. However, I was sad to see this bit vanish (even if it's possible that it only makes sense in my head).

One Secret Origin Power Girl Never Had

 

Superman grabs Batman by the shoulders and flies him up into the air, and then he lets go. Batman tumbles towards the ground for a few seconds before righting himself and flying after the man of steel. He kicks Superman in the head.

“Hey! That’s cheating!” says Superman. “Batman can’t fly.”

“’Course he can,” says Batman. “He’s Batman.” Pepper sticks her tongue out at Wensleydale.

Wensley scowls back at her. “He can not,” says Superman.

“Can too!”

Wensleydale shakes his head and sighs as one long suffering. “They’re your comics, Adam,” Superman says to Green Lantern, who’s busy fighting a handful of blue triceratops and a mean looking tyrannosaurus rex. “Tell her Batman can’t fly.”

“Raaar! Zit-zit-zit! Raauuur!” says Green Lantern. “I dunno. Maybe he’s in the bat-plane or something. Raaarr!”

“Hah!” says Batman. Batman punches Superman in the ear, but Superman doesn’t move.

“I’m not afraid of you,” says Superman. “You can’t hurt me, unless you have kryptonite.”

A large chunk of mineral deposits itself in Batman’s arms. “I’ve got kryptonite right here,” says Batman.

“That’s a penny,” says Superman, unimpressed. “It’s not even green.”

“It’s not supposed to be,” says Batman, “it’s brown kryptonite.”

“That’s dumb,” says Superman. “And you’re still not supposed to be flying. Batman doesn’t have an *invisible* bat-plane.”

“Well, he stole Wonder Woman’s then. It’s not like she’s using it.”

Pepper and Wensleydale both turn and look reprovingly at Wonder Woman. She’s in the middle of making out with Wolverine.

Brian looks back at them after a moment. “What?”

Wensleydale snorts. “Wonder Woman wouldn’t kiss Wolverine. They’re not even dating.”

“Yeah,” agrees Batman. “And boys are smelly, anyhow.”

“Are not!” says Superman, but Brian considers the point.

“We haven’t got any other girls,” Wonder Woman says, and then, “Yo, Adam! You have a Supergirl somewhere?”

Green Lantern stops swinging the T-rex by its tail. “Don’t think so,” he says. “I’ll check.” Adam puts the action figure down and crawls over to the chesterfield.

Adam paws around under it and drags out a GI Joe, a transformer with a missing head, and an action figure of a woman in white spandex and a red cape. He shakes most of the dust off them, and stands them up on the carpet. The superheroine immediately topples forward. Adam squints under the couch again, and then shrugs. “That’s all I got,” he says.

Brian dumps Wonder Woman and Wolverine in a heap. He examines the new toys critically, and finally picks up the superheroine. “Who’s this one?” he says, and gets a collective shrug as an answer. Brian flies her over to the battle between Superman and Batman.

“Hello, Superman. I’m your cousin!”

“You are *not*,” says Superman. Batman headbutts him in the stomach.

A few inches away, Green Lantern finally manages to herd the stampeding dinosaurs back into their box. “I wonder what brown kryptonite would do to Superman, anyway,” he says thoughtfully.


 


For those curious, here’s a link to some Power Girl sort-of-exposition from [livejournal.com profile] scans_daily

And three more pages, to further confuse the issue.

From: [identity profile] daegaer.livejournal.com


It may technically not be a crossover, but it is technically adorable! And it gets down the crazy sort of kid imagination so well!

From: [identity profile] odditycollector.livejournal.com


Thanks!

And it gets down the crazy sort of kid imagination so well!
It's totally logical, really! They just aren't operating on the *same* logic, is all.

From: [identity profile] vagabondsal.livejournal.com


“Raaar! Zit-zit-zit! Raauuur!” says Green Lantern.

That is officially Kyle's war cry, from here on out.

From: [identity profile] odditycollector.livejournal.com


Hee! Even over "I have a magnificent tushcus?"

Well, I suppose if he wanted to chase those attacking *away*...

From: [identity profile] badficwriter.livejournal.com


The mystery of brown kryptonite is going to haunt me all morning, i know it..

From: [identity profile] odditycollector.livejournal.com


Hee. Think of whatever answer is most likely to reduce a collection of ten year old into giggles, and you've probably solved it. ;)

From: [identity profile] odditycollector.livejournal.com


Yay! Well, halfway yay? I shall count it as a victory. *hides behind disclaimer this time*

From: [identity profile] thefourthvine.livejournal.com


Ooo, this was great. And it makes much, much more sense than anything else I've read about Power Girl; from now on, I will choose to believe that Adam accidentally thought her into being, and all past and future canon changes are simply him modifying the story.

I feel so much better now. Thank you!

From: [identity profile] odditycollector.livejournal.com


Thanks, Glad you liked it!

Honestly, I think the entirety of DCU canon makes far more sense once you allow for the existence of Adam. There could probably be a chart of likely events, even. "Is grounded for setting the kitchen on fire which was *not his fault*." "Oooh. Boobies!" "A movie comes out of which he is fond enough to see 71 times." "Breaks up with his girlfriend (that @!%^* &!^$#)."
ext_11844: (Geeky Robin)

From: [identity profile] amarin-rose.livejournal.com


Well, we do already know that the DCU changes upon the whims of the writers. It's just obvious the whims are directed by a bunch of children; that would explain the crack. :P

From: [identity profile] odditycollector.livejournal.com


Exactly! (And when one of the children in question has reality changing powers, the DCU almost makes *sense*, even!)
ext_11844: (Default)

From: [identity profile] amarin-rose.livejournal.com


The DCU will never make sense! The children command it to be so! :D
.

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