The Top Five Bat-Gadgets that rarely get used

[odditycollector]

For stardance.

5. In Batman: Year One, we see that Bruce developed a whistle that will call a swarm of bats to surround him, confusing and/or utterly freaking the shit out of any pursuing cops. But a giant swarm of flying rodents obscuring his vision and movements proved to be not as useful as he had hoped, and, besides, a couple of the bats got hit by stray bullets and Bruce still hasn't forgiven himself.

4. No one spoke of the Bat-Strobe-Suit again. Even Especially if it was fun at parties.

3. For a few months after becoming Robin, Dick Grayson refused to eat anything that wasn't bat-shaped. This phase has long since passed into the realm of embarrassing anecdotes, but, on the morning after Dick left for college, Alfred dug out the Bat-Waffle-Maker one last time.

2. There is a switch in the Batmobile that will convert it outwardly into a common Ford-made sedan. However, while useful for camouflage purposes, this would require making it look less cool.

1. This one:

odditycollector: Macgyver leads a sex shop?
caia_comica: Hey, why not?
odditycollector: You have a paperclip, a baseball hat, and 16 inches of dental floss.
odditycollector: GO TO
caia_comica: Hee!
caia_comica: It's like the problem of finding lube in the abandoned planet/prison cell/cave/desert island the fic is taking place.
odditycollector: This is why GLs come in handy
odditycollector: Also: Batman
odditycollector: lube is practical for MANY CIRCUMSTANCES one finds oneself in
odditycollector: especially this one
caia_comica: Precisely!
caia_comica: Although I am now wondering if Batman has a dildo in his utility belt.
odditycollector: It's a radio, really? But this way it doesn't break when dropped? And can fit... places
caia_comica: *nods* It's good to have a radio that stays with you when they take your belt away. Just as long as they don't do a body cavity search.
odditycollector: *there's* a fic?
odditycollector: "Why does Batman always act like he's got a 15 inch prick stuck up his ass?"
odditycollector: "Oh. *That*'s why."
caia_comica: That would do it!
odditycollector: *shakes head*
caia_comica: That's a pretty big radio, though. Seems like Oracle could get him a better model.
odditycollector: She probably keeps getting him *bigger* ones.
caia_comica: With more features?
odditycollector: Yup!
odditycollector: Bruce: *grim*
odditycollector: Babs: Hey, it's the one *I* use.
caia_comica: .....oh dear.
odditycollector: Babs: And Dick really likes his!
caia_comica: *shakes head*
odditycollector: Standard equipment for *all* the birds, I suspect.
caia_comica: ....*tries to imagine Babs suggesting it to Dinah or Helena*
caia_comica: Oh dear.
odditycollector: Maybe Dinah gives one to Ollie? It's the latest in Bat-tech, after all...
caia_comica: I'm sure she does. Probably that's what she does with the one Babs gives her.
odditycollector: Ollie: These are *great*!
odditycollector: Roy: *jealous*
odditycollector: Conner: *facepalm*
odditycollector: I expect Mia will be amused?
caia_comica: Probably! Either that or squicked.
odditycollector: Well, after the island cover scene, she will at least learn they are useful?
odditycollector: Ollie will be very loudly impressed.
odditycollector: "You need to get one, Hal!"
caia_comica: ...clearly!
caia_comica: He should market them to the whole JLA!
odditycollector: Booster will try to sell some with his name on!
caia_comica: ...and sell corporate sponsorship on his?
odditycollector: Probably.
odditycollector: But alas, only one member of the JLA buys his line.
odditycollector: And it's Ted.

(LJ-ify your IMs before pasting!)