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[odditycollector]

I hear it is Valentine's Day! So, in honour of the occasion (and also because I may be stuck at a computer all day) a meme.

Give me a pairing (or a 3+some) and I will give you a brief summary of their totally overwrought love story! It will be like a Harlequin romance, except I have very little idea of how Harlequin romances actually work, so probably it won't be like that at all.

(And I actually made some attempt at putting together an offered fandoms list this time, but it's making me want to leave off the whole endeavour, so. The deal is that if I'm not familiar with the characters you give me, I'll ask for new ones.)

Comments

[daegaer.livejournal.com]

Hastur Ligur :D :D :D

Hastur ♥ Ligur :D :D :D

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

After recentish events about which we do not speak, Hastur slowly realizes he’s become jaded with his existance. Tormenting souls brings him no enjoyment, not even the ones he tricked out of relatively innocent humans. Not even when the torture is really, really interesting. Existential horror is particularly horrifying if you’re a creature who might well exist forever, current projects about which we do not speak being on hold as they are.

It’s not that Hastur doesn’t know *what*s changed in what we shall generously describe as a life, but no self respecting demon wants to admit that he cares enough about another entity for it to *matter*. Still. This can’t go on. Or at least he can’t go on with it.

If this were a human story, Hastur would brave the depths of Hell to rescue his lover, but braving the depths of Hell sounds more like Hastur’s standard Thursday afternoon. Anyway, he checked around, and no one’s seen Ligur since, well, we do not speak about it. Where *do* demons go when they die?

Before he’s willing to admit to himself what he’s up to, Hastur’s searching out passage to the other side of the sky. It’s not easy, even for a demon, and Ligur’s probably not waiting there to be rescued recovered, but it’s damn sure (and Hastur would know) he’s not anywhere more local either.

Unfortunately, while Hasur’s attempting to earn passage, he runs afoul of an angel named Lezeiel. He’s not one Hastur recognizes from his own angel days, but he’s powerful and has that streak of cruel viciousness the way angels often do. He also seems to permanently have an air of someone who’s forgotten what they came into the room for, but whatever, all those feathery assholes are lacking in brains anyway. Don’t even have brains, technically.

That’s what Hastur tells himself after he escapes annihilation the first time (smugly... and yet also a bit disappointed on a level he tries to burn away with anger, because there’s *one* sure way to find out where demons finally end up). But the second time, the third time... is Lezeiel *hesitating*? (Yes, though confusedly.) And never mind that, is this angel *following him*? (Well. Not at first. But for an angel, he’s got a talent for lurking.)

It turns out Lezeiel is also fighting the sense of missing something, although he’s still at the stage of trying to figure out what it is. He can’t remember. He can’t remember a lot, really. Between the creation of the universe and events we do not speak about, it’s all rather a blur. And Hastur knows there’s a breakdown in the natural order of things when he’s listening to an angel’s sob story and awkwardly saying things like, “there, there” but it turns out Lezeiel’s his kind of bastard after a few beer kegs.

Hastur maybe mentions why he wants to get to the other side of the sky (it’s a bit fuzzy later, maybe Lezeiel just spent a few thousand years ass over wings drunk?) and Lezeiel maybe invites himself along, and maybe there would have been some exciting adventures but then we find out that Lezeiel is Ligur reincarinated. Honestly, by this point, no one is actually surprised.

Memories returned, Ligur is *really resenting* being an angel. He’s ready to jump back into the Pit, but Hastur wants to do it with paperwork. He would get *such* a commendation for signing up an angel’s equivalent of a soul. Probably get a medal or a ribbon or something. Ligur appreciates this ambition, but is not about to sign himself under anyone’s control for all eternity. So he agrees on the condition that Hastur signs the equivalent of *his* soul to Ligur. Simultaneously. And they’re both practised enough they can leave out the loopholes (except for the ones they try to slip in anyway, ‘cause you can’t blame a demon for trying).

...Most marriages are less binding.

And everyone lives happily ever after, except Hastur and Ligur's underlings who'd been enjoying the freedom from terrifying bosses, or the souls getting extra torture thanks to the extra demon, or the ones who wouldn’t have been damned in the first place if not for Ligur and Hastur’s renewed joie de vivre, or Crowley because they owe him a certain amount of revenge. But, you know, it was really always that sort of story.

Re: Hastur ♥ Ligur :D :D :D

[daegaer.livejournal.com]

Thank you! (I somehow missed this till you sent me the message - I fail). This is indeed a love for the aeons. Oh, *Hastur* - oh,*Ligur*.

braving the depths of Hell sounds more like Hastur’s standard Thursday afternoon.

Heeeee!

And I love their mutually binding pre-nup sensible and sober legal contracts.

Thank you ♥!!

Re: Hastur ♥ Ligur :D :D :D

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

Thank you! (I somehow missed this till you sent me the message - I fail).
Ah, no worries. I am also bad at keeping track of messages. So bad!

And I love their mutually binding pre-nup sensible and sober legal contracts.
Well.
They do have ALL the lawyers.
;)