I hear it is Valentine's Day! So, in honour of the occasion (and also because I may be stuck at a computer all day) a meme.

Give me a pairing (or a 3+some) and I will give you a brief summary of their totally overwrought love story! It will be like a Harlequin romance, except I have very little idea of how Harlequin romances actually work, so probably it won't be like that at all.

(And I actually made some attempt at putting together an offered fandoms list this time, but it's making me want to leave off the whole endeavour, so. The deal is that if I'm not familiar with the characters you give me, I'll ask for new ones.)
petra: A woman in a police officer's uniform looking surprised (Annie Cartwright - Oh My)

From: [personal profile] petra

Chris Skelton and/or Shaz Granger and/or Ray Carling, please.
petra: Brunette woman in a red dress with a whip (Annie Cartwright - Kitten with a whip)

From: [personal profile] petra

he makes disparaging comments until she gets pissed off and tells him to stop acting like he’s got something to prove.
Somehow I don't think *that's* very different from how it went down in canon. ;)

Ray gets flustered and makes a wholly unsatisfactory comeback.

It’s not like he ever offered Chris a collar
Goodness, I would hope not--in part because I don't trust Chris to know what's best for him under any circumstances.

they just never *quite* fitted right together.
No, they wouldn't. Close, and close enough for fuckbuddies, or whatever it's called in this 'verse, but not right.

Chris sitting on the floor
I'm quite sure this shouldn't sound so damn cute. But it works for me.

Gene Hunt’s taste in subs is fucking mental, if you ask Ray.
They're so much *work.* Ray's too lazy to take on the ones who might fight him and win.

It’s never satisfying, not for anyone involved
Well, not if one of them's Ray, that I believe. ;)

Brings up all of these "But wait, I want to sub--no I don't!" feelings. Poor Ray.

it’s an exposed seam in the world, there’s something *wrong*.
You can almost see the stars through it.

there’s one sub who knows how to keep position
And that's why they didn't quite work, isn't it? Chris is too bloody ready to stay where he's put, and as much as Ray thinks that's what he wants, he's wrong, deep down.

She was slapping *his*.
I'm quite afraid that made me beam all out of proportion to how wrong it is. Or, in proportion to the wrongness, but not to the objective happiness. A spot of schadenfreude, call it; Ray certainly deserves a bit of suffering here and there.

Shaz figures out what’s going on and takes charge of the situation. As is rather the requirement.
Chris was never going to and Ray's, well, increasingly finding he's incapable of that, at least in the classic sense.

Hopefully he's happier when he works out that subbing isn't giving up.

maybe this is what it was supposed to be like all along.
I was expecting something Harlequin and instead I got something *true.* Thank you so much.

This makes me far more starry-eyed than can possibly be healthy.
thatyourefuse: ([hunt] weightless coming home)

From: [personal profile] thatyourefuse

*flaaaaaaaaaaail hands*

Oh, GOD, Ray. Raaaaaaaay. That is exactly precisely how it went down while Lexa Darling was being a bit preoccupied with her own sexuality crisis to notice, and I am grinning all over my face right now. This is lovely.
caiusmajor: (SKY KANGA)

From: [personal profile] caiusmajor

Amanda Waller and Vril Dox II, of course!
wordsatourbacks: close-up of detective meldrick lewis in a dimly lit hospital room, light shining down across his face (kay howard & elizabeth wu)

From: [personal profile] wordsatourbacks

Re: Excellent!

I just saw this, and I can't stand how freaking awesome you are. Tone it down a little! Or don't, that way I can rec your stuff to everyone everywhere. ("Chief Young Mrs. Landingham"! You crack me up. Along with ALL THE OTHER STUFF. Lassiter also cracks me the fuck up. And the dinner with Henry!! And the ending, argh, my heart has turned into giggly pudding.)
foolsguinea: (Default)

From: [personal profile] foolsguinea

David St. Hubbins, Jeanine Pettibone, & a stuffed pita.
foolsguinea: (Default)

From: [personal profile] foolsguinea

What, hasn't everyone heard of Jeanine Pettibone? ;P

I'm just throwing weird crap out there, actually.

OK, first thing that came up on Google video search when I typed in "Monty":

Tell me the lore, the lovelore, of Vikings and Spam.
thefourthvine: A black female Superwoman. (Superwoman)

From: [personal profile] thefourthvine

I wish I had an icon with giant hearts all over it to convey my love of this summary! And this story, which is clearly MADE OF AWESOME, and I am only sad that I cannot shell out my money and pick it up in paperback.

<3 <3 <3 <3! <--Low-tech hearts instead of heart-filled icon.
thefourthvine: An adorable pouting creature.  (Cute but pouty)

From: [personal profile] thefourthvine

It is not! This is Aliens Make Them Do It (with a side of telepathy), and that's Telepathy Makes Them Do It (with a side of sulking). TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS.

Although, frankly, I cannot get enough of either tripe, despite my deep and profound loathing of telepaths, so, you know, feel free to use one of those concepts for ALL the prompts! Or just make your next bout of this the Aliens and Mind Fucking Festival. I would totally go for that.
ani_bester: (Toro Flaming)

From: [personal profile] ani_bester

Bucky/Natasha/Troo (and Ann if you want, she's Toro's wife, her personality in canon is "generic Marvel woman" so go with anything you like, but in modern times she'd be about 75-80)
ani_bester: (Default)

From: [personal profile] ani_bester

Ahhh wing it?
If you wing it with Toro and Ann you really can't go wrong as they are minor and there's not much. Uhh he's a fire mutant that fought during WWII and she married him afterward. He then died in like the 70's and was resurrected in the 2000's

From: [identity profile] odditycollector.livejournal.com

Hastur ♥ Ligur :D :D :D

After recentish events about which we do not speak, Hastur slowly realizes he’s become jaded with his existance. Tormenting souls brings him no enjoyment, not even the ones he tricked out of relatively innocent humans. Not even when the torture is really, really interesting. Existential horror is particularly horrifying if you’re a creature who might well exist forever, current projects about which we do not speak being on hold as they are.

It’s not that Hastur doesn’t know *what*s changed in what we shall generously describe as a life, but no self respecting demon wants to admit that he cares enough about another entity for it to *matter*. Still. This can’t go on. Or at least he can’t go on with it.

If this were a human story, Hastur would brave the depths of Hell to rescue his lover, but braving the depths of Hell sounds more like Hastur’s standard Thursday afternoon. Anyway, he checked around, and no one’s seen Ligur since, well, we do not speak about it. Where *do* demons go when they die?

Before he’s willing to admit to himself what he’s up to, Hastur’s searching out passage to the other side of the sky. It’s not easy, even for a demon, and Ligur’s probably not waiting there to be rescued recovered, but it’s damn sure (and Hastur would know) he’s not anywhere more local either.

Unfortunately, while Hasur’s attempting to earn passage, he runs afoul of an angel named Lezeiel. He’s not one Hastur recognizes from his own angel days, but he’s powerful and has that streak of cruel viciousness the way angels often do. He also seems to permanently have an air of someone who’s forgotten what they came into the room for, but whatever, all those feathery assholes are lacking in brains anyway. Don’t even have brains, technically.

That’s what Hastur tells himself after he escapes annihilation the first time (smugly... and yet also a bit disappointed on a level he tries to burn away with anger, because there’s *one* sure way to find out where demons finally end up). But the second time, the third time... is Lezeiel *hesitating*? (Yes, though confusedly.) And never mind that, is this angel *following him*? (Well. Not at first. But for an angel, he’s got a talent for lurking.)

It turns out Lezeiel is also fighting the sense of missing something, although he’s still at the stage of trying to figure out what it is. He can’t remember. He can’t remember a lot, really. Between the creation of the universe and events we do not speak about, it’s all rather a blur. And Hastur knows there’s a breakdown in the natural order of things when he’s listening to an angel’s sob story and awkwardly saying things like, “there, there” but it turns out Lezeiel’s his kind of bastard after a few beer kegs.

Hastur maybe mentions why he wants to get to the other side of the sky (it’s a bit fuzzy later, maybe Lezeiel just spent a few thousand years ass over wings drunk?) and Lezeiel maybe invites himself along, and maybe there would have been some exciting adventures but then we find out that Lezeiel is Ligur reincarinated. Honestly, by this point, no one is actually surprised.

Memories returned, Ligur is *really resenting* being an angel. He’s ready to jump back into the Pit, but Hastur wants to do it with paperwork. He would get *such* a commendation for signing up an angel’s equivalent of a soul. Probably get a medal or a ribbon or something. Ligur appreciates this ambition, but is not about to sign himself under anyone’s control for all eternity. So he agrees on the condition that Hastur signs the equivalent of *his* soul to Ligur. Simultaneously. And they’re both practised enough they can leave out the loopholes (except for the ones they try to slip in anyway, ‘cause you can’t blame a demon for trying).

...Most marriages are less binding.

And everyone lives happily ever after, except Hastur and Ligur's underlings who'd been enjoying the freedom from terrifying bosses, or the souls getting extra torture thanks to the extra demon, or the ones who wouldn’t have been damned in the first place if not for Ligur and Hastur’s renewed joie de vivre, or Crowley because they owe him a certain amount of revenge. But, you know, it was really always that sort of story.
Edited Date: 2011-02-14 10:43 pm (UTC)

From: [identity profile] daegaer.livejournal.com

Re: Hastur ♥ Ligur :D :D :D

Thank you! (I somehow missed this till you sent me the message - I fail). This is indeed a love for the aeons. Oh, *Hastur* - oh,*Ligur*.

braving the depths of Hell sounds more like Hastur’s standard Thursday afternoon.


And I love their mutually binding pre-nup sensible and sober legal contracts.

Thank you ♥!!

From: [identity profile] odditycollector.livejournal.com

Re: Hastur ♥ Ligur :D :D :D

Thank you! (I somehow missed this till you sent me the message - I fail).
Ah, no worries. I am also bad at keeping track of messages. So bad!

And I love their mutually binding pre-nup sensible and sober legal contracts.
They do have ALL the lawyers.


odditycollector: Supergirl hovering in black silhouette except for the red crest. Cape fluttering. Background is a roiling, raining sky. (Default)

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